Tickle Tensai Pickle
by Joce
Summary: Sakuragi Hanamichi is acting strangely again. The reason involves a pickle and Mitsui. Major crack, much sillyness. Some MitHana


Title: Tickle Tensai Pickle By: Jocelyn D. Hoover Fandom: Slam Dunk Pairing: MitHana OthersHana (if you squint)  
Warning: Hanamichi being random, random moments of people falling over Rating: PG-13

08101991

Sometimes, he really wasn't sure what Hanamichi was ON. Seriously.

And so far, this is the first time he'd seen Hanamichi being so random.

"The pickle wants you to tickle it, Mitcchy!"

"I said NO, Hanamichi, just NO." Mitsui choked back, half-way between laughter and horror.

Hanamichi wiggled the pickled in his face, waggling his own eyebrows at him, "Tickle Mr. Pickle or he will cryyyy!"

Mitsui did a double-take; cry? Pickles don't cry!

"Do'aho."

"You're just jealous the pickle wants to be held by the tensai, kitsune!" Hanamichi proclaimed, pointing the pickle at Rukawa before laughing with a serious expression plastered on his face.

Rukawa stared at him a moment before he looked away with a sigh, "Double do'aho."

"Mr. Pickle doesn't want to be near you anyway, stupid kitsune!!" Hanamichi roared.

"H... Hanamichi...?" The gym's occupants turned to look at the fourth arrival of the day; Kogure.

"Ah! Megane-kun! Mr. Pickle wants you to tickle himmmm!" Hanamichi cheered, basically prancing his way towards his senpai, holding the pickle as if it were precious.

Kogure could only stare at him, baffled and cheeks turning a brillant shade of red. Mitsui snorted into his hands, trying to hold back his laughter - oh man, this was getting good.

"H-Hanamichi! Do you know what you're saying!?" Kogure asked as he recovered from his initial shock.

"Of course!" this made Mitsui, Rukawa and Kogure all falter slightly and they stared at the red-head, all blushing, even Rukawa if only a tiny bit; Hanamichi continued, "Mr. Pickle told me many stories! And he wants to be tickled by the tensai's team! He wishes to become the TENSAI PICKLE!"

Kogure hung his head and leaned against the doorframe, shaking his head ever so slowly.

"Do'aho." Rukawa managed to mutter after clearing his throat.

"Teme!"

"Hanamichi - what the heck are you doing with a pickle in the gym!?" Ryota asked, his bag over his shoulder, another in his hand and his free hand pointing at the green object in Hanamichi's hand.

"Silly Ryo-chin! Mr. Pickle wishes to become the tensai pickle! Tickle Mr. Pickle!" Hanamichi demanded, cradling the pickle in his palm.

"W-what are you saying!?" Ryota yelled, both bags dropping off his person.

"The tensai demands you all tickle Mr. Pickle!" Hanamichi yelled, one fist pumped into the air.

"I can't believe you named it!" Ryota proclaimed; a look half-way between amusement and bafflement on his face.

"Of course! The tensai pickle always needs a name!"

The gym's other four occupants froze, staring at Hanamichi - was he really this naive?

"Why are you yelling about a food item!?" Akagi roared, stepping between Ryota and Kogure who both jumped in surprise - Kogure falling over, having still not recovered from Hanamichi's earlier assault of ridiculous demands.

"Gori!! Tickle Mr. Pickle! No one else will tickle the tensai pickle!" Hanamichi shouted, holding the pickle towards him. Akagi stared at it for a moment before direceting his gaze towards Mitsui.

"What did you do to him?"

Mitsui blanched, "What!? What do you mean what did I do to him!? He was like that when he got here!"

Akagi stared, Mitsui stared, Hanamichi still held out the pickle, a determined look on his face. Rukawa looked between the two before he decided it wasn't worth his time but his gaze landed on Hanamichi and he sighed again, shaking his head. Kogure and Ryota looked at Mitsui, then Akagi and then looked at each other, puzzled. Akagi's stare turned into a glare and Mitsui shrank back slightly.

"Hana-chan!"

"Oi! Hentai smiley!! Tickle Mr. Pickle! No one on the tensai's team will do it! He can't become a full-fledged tensai pickle if no one tickles him!" Hanamichi claimed, holding the pickle out towards Sendoh who came out from behind Akagi.

Sendoh laughed and reached out, "tickling" the pickle, "How many people do you need to tickle Mr. Pickle, Hana-chan?"

"Um... He needs ten in all. So... eight left?" Hanamichi looked at his fingers, trying to count.

"Nine, Hanamichi, nine." Kogure voiced, finally able to stand up and have full use of his legs.

"Ah! Nine, smiley pervert!" Hanamichi shouted, waving the pickle. Sendoh laughed and nodded.

"What are you doing here, Sendoh?" Akagi asked, tearing his gaze away from Mitsui.

"Ditching practice again..." Ryota muttered under his breath.

"I was going for a walk and my feet lead me here, so I thought it might be nice to visit." Sendoh said, smiling away, eyes still on Hanamichi.

"Oi, Youhei! Ookusu! Chu! Takimiya! Tickle Mr. Pickle so he can become tensai pickle!" Hanamichi called, slipping between Akagi and Sendoh. Mitsui made his way over to them quickly, following Hanamichi.

"Where are you going, Mitsui?" Akagi asked, a small glint in his eye.

"Making sure he doesn't bug anyone he doesn't know." Mitsui supplied after a moment, a bit nervously - he really didn't want to be gorilla-punched.

Mitsui came upon the sight of the Sakuragi Gundan all "tickling" that damn pickle; he stumbled, why in the world were they playing along?

"That's quite the hickey you have there, Mitsui." Youhei said calmly, a small, knowing smile on his face. Mitsui jumped and looked to his right.

"When the hell did you get there?" Mitsui hissed, cheeks coloring darkly. Youhei only grinned.

"Haven't you heard that people act funny the day after they're in total bliss - it's like a high. He'll eventually calm down; a bit..." Youhei said, Mitsui barely caught the muttered, "Maybe."

"I'm acting normal enough." Mitsui countered.

"Oh, but you topped, didn't you?"

"Stay out of my personal life you pervert!" Mitsui hissed, face turning a new shade of red.

"Smiley pervert! How many does Mr. Pickle need now!?" Hanamichi called, waving the pickle in the air.

There was some laughter from Sendoh before he answered, "Five, Hana-chan, five."

"That's alot! That's only a quarter of the way in!"

"No, that's half." Youhei corrected.

Hanamichi shrugged and then spotted someone coming towards the gym, "Yasu!! Tickle Mr. Pickle!"

Everyone froze and turned to look at Yasu who stumbled and tripped, crying out with a "Nani!?" The sound of dribbling even stopped as Rukawa took hold of the ball; he held it between both hands, the corner of his mouth twitched.

Hanamichi waved the pickle in the air, "You have to tickle Mr. Pickle, Yasu!! He wished to become a full tensai pickle!!"

Yasu didn't budge, a look of horror and confusion on his face. Hanamichi took it that he needed to come to Yasu instead so he marched over there, crouched and held out the pickle, as if it were holy.

"H-Hana-kun... Er... Why do you want... me to tickle... 'Mr. Pickle'...?" Yasu asked.

"Tickle him, Yasu... You have to for his success in life." Hanamichi stated, staring boldly into the alarmed Yasu's eyes. Yasu sighed and slowly "tickled" the pickle.

"How... How's that?"

"You're a hero, Yasu!" Hanamichi cheered, jumping up, taking Yasu with him in a bear hug. Hanamichi looked back at Sendoh after awhile, letting Yasu hang there limply from shock.

"Four left, Hana-chan." Sendoh said, instantly knowing what Hanamichi wanted. He smiled merrily at the bustling red-head.

"You're enjoying this too much." Akagi muttered, completing an effective face-palm.

"Ah, Maki! Kiyota-kun! Jin! Mudo!" Sendoh called, waving. Akagi turned his head to look where Sendoh was waving, noticing three of the four waving back. Hanamichi noticed too, however and charged towards them, holding the pickle out towards them.

"Oh no..." Akagi muttered, jaw dropping slightly.

"oyaji! Kozusaru! You four! Pet Mr. Pickle so he can become a full tensai pickle!" Hanamichi shouted.

Silenced followed the proclamation as the four stared at Hanamichi for a moment. Jin and Mudo both coughed, trying to keep their laughter hidden, but not able to hide their smiles. Kiyota on the other hand...

"Gyahaha! You've finally lost the little bit of mind you had!!"

Maki sighed and punched Kiyota in the head, "gorilla" style.

"Sakuragi... I don't know what's gotten into you... but no, I will not tickle that... pickle..." Maki said, dragging Kiyota over towards Akagi and Sendoh by his ear. Hanamichi turned hopeful eyes to Jin and Mudo, who both sighed, still smiling and trying not to laugh. Both of them "tickled" Mr. Pickle and Hanamichi enveloped them into a hug.

"You're both Mr. Pickle's heroes!!" Hanamichi cheered, after a moment of bear-hugging the two he looked at Sendoh who smiled.

"Two left, Hana-chan."

"Ayako! Tickle Mr. Pickle!" Hanamichi roared as the woman came into view. She halted and stared for a moment.

"Sakuragi Hanamichi! You do not say that to other people when you are in a relationship!" she sighed at Hanamichi's confused look.

"Er... Hanamichi, here, I'll... tickle the stupid- I mean, wonderful, Mr. Pickle." Ryota said, correcting himself when he saw a teary-eyed look start when he'd said the pickle was stupid.

"Ryo-chin is a hero!" Hanamichi declared, racing towards Ryota, almost knocking him over. After Ryota "tickled" the pickle, Hanamichi took off towards Mitsui, knocking him over and sitting on his lower stomach and hips. Mitsui stared up at Hanamichi who showed the pickle to him, very, very closely.

"Hana...michi... I will never, ever -" Mitsui stopped, taking in the teary-eyed look.

"He needs to be tickled by one. More. Person. Mitcchy... Do you want the tensai pickle to not be complete!?" Hanamichi asked, a look of anger crossing his face.

"Fine, I'll tickle the damn pickle!"

Mitsui "tickled" the pickle and stared up at Hanamichi, waiting for him to get off, but the red head pressed his forehead to Mitsui's, smiling ear-to-ear.

"Mr. Pickle... Is now Tensai Pickle!"

"Y-yeah, yeah..."

"Once you two are done, you both can take 30 laps!" Akagi roared, eye twitching. He stared at Mitsui for a moment, "On second thought, you can take 40, Mitsui."

"What!?"

"It's your fault he's like this!"

08101991

Joce: My reason for writing this? It's 3 am! ((Smiles.)) 


End file.
